In dating, many women end up in difficult situations that could be avoided. Often, women are too nice to their partners, even when they don't deserve it. The outcome? Men who seemed interested at first suddenly leave, causing women to feel confused and hurt. Despite trying not to appear needy or vulnerable, the men they like still vanish.
Author Brian Nox has seen many women struggle with this problem and suggests adopting a more assertive mindset. He believes the answer lies in understanding how to get into a man’s head and influence his actions. By leveraging this power, women can encourage more of the behaviors they appreciate and discourage the ones they dislike. While it may initially seem daunting, the idea of taking control of one's love life is liberating. By embracing the "f*ck him" mentality, women can break free from the cycle of disappointment and finally find the intimacy and happiness they deserve. In his book, F*ck Him: Nice Girls Always Finish Single, Nox teaches women what the “fuck him” mentality is all about. This guidebook is full of advice for women on how to take charge and make the changes their love lives need and on how to the right man, to be in a committed relationship. Our summary touches on the main points of this book and hopefully, you'll find something useful in it that will bring you one step closer to finding lasting love. So let's dive into part 1 of our summary.
Why Waste Tears on Men Who Can't See Your True Value?
Heartbreak, often due to emotionally unavailable men, is an inevitable part of many women's journeys. Some experience it repeatedly, trapped in a cycle of pain and disappointment. If men consistently pull away in new relationships, causing the same distressing patterns, you likely yearn to break free from this cycle that sabotages your chances of finding love.
But here's the thing: It's not entirely your fault; it's typical behavior for some men, especially those who avoid commitment. Craving love and striving to be a great partner isn't wrong, but that's not what they want from you. They want you to prove you're worth the chase and their devotion. The problem is assuming your actions alone will make them see your true worth. Sadly, this won't bring the dating success you want.
Here's a radical idea: Learn how to play them at their own game without resorting to manipulative tactics. Sounds perplexing? It isn't! Nox suggests shedding old habits and transforming your dating outlook. The key is not changing who you are, but how you perceive yourself.
Shift your focus inward, prioritize yourself, and become a high-value woman who sparks an irresistible desire in others. By making these changes, your dating experiences will be infinitely more enjoyable, and heartbreaks become a distant memory of the past. Your old dating methods haven't worked—time for a fresh start!
Why Should You Fuck Him?
When Brian Nox says “Fuck Him” he doesn’t mean the the sexual act, he’s talking about mentally fucking him.
Through years of interviews, Nox discovered a remarkable pattern among those who have triumphed in love - they possess a unique set of strategies for attracting and retaining exceptional partners. Intrigued by this phenomenon, Nox embarked on an ambitious mission: crafting a book exclusively dedicated to unraveling the enigmatic ways of high-value women in specific scenarios.
High value women can be beautiful, average or even physically unattractive but they all have the ability to mentally fuck their chosen suitors which is very rare for most men. This mental fucking will force him to look past your physical looks and body and give him the mental challenge, the mental stimulation that he instinctually craves.
Armed with an arsenal of psychological insights into the male mind, these formidable ladies skillfully manipulate their dating experiences without ever resorting to tiresome nagging or childish tantrums. High value women excel in repelling undesirable individuals and identifying untrustworthy individuals.
Shift from your conventional nice girl tendencies and embrace the qualities of a high-value woman. Society often promotes being pleasant, but have you questioned if always being nice leads to being taken advantage of? Kindness is commendable, but if it doesn't serve your interests, it's time to redefine niceness and prioritize your self-worth.
What Is It about Nice Girls That Repels Men?
Often it will seem like men love bitches and prefer them over the good girls that are too nice. Well, just like how you might feel creeped out by someone who has strange habits or lives in their mother’s basement at the age of 35, men can feel the same way about women who are overly nice and good. Even if a woman is really attractive, it can still make a man feel uncomfortable. So, does this mean you can't be nice to a guy? Well, it depends on what you mean by "nice". Some “nice girls” who are looking for a serious relationship will often want to put a label on their relationship with a man just after a few weeks of dating and tend to believe they have found "the one" much too quickly. Sometimes because of their “niceness,” women might tolerate poor behavior, hoping the guy will change someday. Some women will treat a guy like a king, even if he doesn't treat them like a queen. It's important not to put someone on a pedestal if they don't deserve it.
The nice girl often tries to impress a man and seeks his approval, thinking that she is not good enough on her own. But in doing so, she actually devalues herself and makes the man think he is better than her when it should be the other way around! The man should be the one trying to impress the woman. If a woman constantly tries to give a man everything he wants, there is no challenge or chase left for him. Seeking a man's approval puts her beneath him, and most men will eventually leave if she keeps doing this. While a man might want to believe he is in control, deep down, it is you who should be really guiding the relationship. The nice girl often surrenders her power and heart way too soon to the man she adores.
How to Break Free from Nice Girl Syndrome
Some women are so eager to impress a new partner that they will begin altering aspects of their personality. If this is you, stop it! This isn't how to win him over. Believe in your worth. A woman who knows her value will walk away from a man who mistreats her. A high-value woman doesn't waste time on tears or entertaining doubts; instead, she will continue living her life and doing what makes her happy. She knows that if anyone needs to change, it's him, not her.
In a relationship, it can be frustrating to be with someone who always agrees with you and lets you make all the decisions. Men appreciate women with their own thoughts, rules and opinions, who don't always give in to please them. Have you ever hidden your true opinion or disregarded your own rules to avoid upsetting your partner? It's important to balance pleasing your loved one and maintaining your sense of self.
If a woman constantly tries to please her partner to make him like her more, it creates an imbalance in the relationship. Men enjoy the challenge of winning over and supporting a woman, as it's in their nature to care for loved ones. However, they dislike when a woman becomes overly dependent and loses her independence. Men want to know what you're passionate about and what brings joy to your life. This is why they quickly become bored with women who revolve their lives around them.
Maintaining independence and identity in a relationship is crucial. Men appreciate women who can take the lead when necessary and have their own passions and interests. Pleasing your partner should be balanced, allowing both to retain their individuality. Demonstrating strength and uniqueness fosters a more fulfilling relationship.
A strong, independent woman who wants a partner to complement her full life, will desire a man. A sweet and fragile nice girl, who feels incomplete without a man, will need him. If you find yourself feeling like the latter and need a man to complete you, here is what you should do. First, don't make it obvious that you depend on him. Engage in additional activities to ensure that he doesn't become the center of your world. Second, focus on building your mental resilience and inner strength. When you sense the urge to rely on him intensifying, recognize it as a self-fulfilling prophecy and remind yourself that trying too hard not to lose him because of your neediness may actually push him away.
A high value woman knows her worth and considers herself to be a prize that needs to be chased after. She won’t play any games but, as Nox puts it, she will mentally fuck him.
How to Mentally Fuck Him
There are two rules for mentally fucking a man:
The first rule is to NOT get physically intimate with him too soon.
The second rule is to mentally fuck him as quickly as possible.
Good Things Come to Those Who Wait
When a man has sex with a woman, a hormone called oxytocin is released in her body. This hormone creates a bond between them and makes her evaluate him more positively. If the woman falls for the feelings caused by oxytocin, she may be led to believe that this man is the “one” without truly knowing him. In addition, she may also become clingy and scare the man away.
Many men will initially prioritize a woman's looks over personality and would not hesitate to sleep with you on the first date if given the chance. The men, that have not had sex with you, who continue to spend time with you after around ten dates are the ones attracted to your personality. It is usually after a few months of dating that they can truly appreciate how wonderful of a person you are. So, it's important to not sleep with him too soon and focus on building an emotional connection first.
Mentally Fuck Him by Being a High Value Queen
If you want a man to treat you well, you need to act like a queen from the beginning. Contrary to popular belief, a high-value woman is not high-maintenance. A high-maintenance woman acts like a princess, a high-value woman embodies the qualities of a queen. Men want a queen, not a princess. A princess is indecisive, emotionally unstable, immature and unreliable. A queen knows precisely what she wants, understands exactly how she should be treated, and will not tolerate any disrespectful behavior. She is self-confident and assertive, does not seek constant validation or change her behavior to please others. Instead, she remains true to herself, knowing that she deserves respect and love just as she is.
A high value woman has a clear mindset when it comes to relationships. She approaches them cautiously, putting any man she meets on probation initially, regardless of their qualities or background. She desires a meaningful relationship, one that goes beyond the norm. She playfully challenges him and responds with sass when he teases her, confidently sets boundaries when he tries to manipulate or toy with her, and she’ll stop giving him attention altogether if he displays undesirable behavior. She doesn’t ever need to play games or resort to nagging. She doesn’t have to compromise and is okay if she ends up spending the rest of her life single because she already leads a fulfilling and joyful life.
Don’t Fall for the Bad Boy
It is important to be cautious when desiring a relationship too strongly, as it may lead you towards the wrong person. Countless women have experienced relationships or crushes that initially seemed promising but quickly turned sour. The reason behind this unfortunate outcome is because these women are so fixated on finding "The One" that they begin to tolerate reprehensible behavior from their chosen man. Consequently, this acceptance of mistreatment only leads to further emotional turmoil in the future.
Additionally, many women find themselves attracted to bad boys. What is it about these individuals that makes them so appealing? According to Brian Nox's perspective, it lies within a woman's innate instincts – bad boys exude an aura of danger which implies potential protection during dire circumstances. Essentially, most women crave a sense of security. When they witness a brooding bad boy, they believe he can shield them from the chaos of the world. However, it is crucial to recognize that bad boys are labeled as such for a reason - they are detrimental to your well-being!
There is never any reason to tolerate mistreatment from anyone. Even if someone appears physically attractive, recognize their true ugliness if they are bad to you. Many women have dated bad guys. The difference is that a high-value woman will immediately dump him as soon as she realizes that he is one.
Why Do Men Play Games and Test Women?
Many men who play games are often unsure or hesitant about their feelings and intentions. They may pull back or make ambiguous statements, leaving their partners confused. When a guy says he's not ready for a relationship, it's his way of creating space to get comfortable with his emotions. Even good men may test boundaries, similar to a curious three-year-old, to see what they can get away with.
Many men, like you, have faced disappointing dates and relationships, possibly even a bad marriage. To protect themselves from further heartbreak, some men may choose to test their partners. Examples of this could be: not calling you when he says he will or creating distance by making himself less available to you. It is important to note that not all men engage in such behaviors.
There are right and wrong ways to handle these tests. Many women nag, complain, or chase after men, but a high-value woman remains indifferent. The key is not to care. The more you brush off a guy, the more he'll crave your attention and want to take things further. A woman who focuses on her own passions and interests, rather than becoming needy or dependent, is more likely to pass the test and keep the man's interest.
A Woman’s Most Powerful Weapon: Sex
It’s a misconception that a woman's physical appearance is her most powerful weapon in attracting and keeping a man. While it’s true that looks may initially attract a man, they are not the sole determinant of a successful and fulfilling relationship. Men ultimately desire the whole package – a woman with great personality, values, and compatibility. Men will often see their girlfriends become more attractive over time as they get to know them better. Love will blind men to physical flaws and instantly make a woman more beautiful in their eyes. This highlights the importance of showing a man the real you, rather than seeking approval or trying to be someone you are not.
While men may have a strong instinctual drive for sex and reproduction, their actions are often more motivated by the desire to attract a high-value woman. Men will chase money, success, and material possessions to increase their attractiveness for this type of woman. Delaying sexual intimacy can increase a woman's value, in men’s eyes, and put her in the category of high-value women. By not giving into sex, you demonstrate immense strength of character.
If you have sex with a man too soon, he’ll assume that you do that with every guy you meet. Even if that isn’t true, he will have doubts lingering in his mind. No man wants to be with a woman he thinks all men can attain easily. He will not perceive any value, no matter how beautiful she is.
Additionally, by making him wait for sex, a woman can also ensure that the relationship is not solely based on physical attraction. This approach also helps to filter out men who are only interested in casual encounters or being friends with benefits.
Nox does advise women to build up the anticipation though by giving him visual hints. An example of this would be to wear clothing that accentuates your shape without revealing too much skin. Another example could be hanging a sexy bra on the back of your bathroom door so he can visualize you wearing that item.
However, Nox cautions against giving mixed signals or creating false expectations, as this can lead to frustration for both parties. In order to prevent any misunderstandings and hurt feelings, it's important to remember that these hints should remain hints and nothing more. If you are not ready for something or want to stop, it's crucial to communicate this clearly and kindly. Just like taking a sweet lollipop away from a three-year-old, abruptly ending the fun can elicit a very negative emotional reaction. If you passionately kiss him and take off his shirt while allowing him to open your blouse and touch your breasts, only to abruptly stop him, he may feel deceived and led on. It will be frustrating for him and he’ll link this negative experience to you.
Don’t rush into intimate situations too quickly and allow the relationship to naturally progress. To avoid any confusion or negative experiences, it's advisable to not have the first few dates end up at either your place or his. By keeping the environment neutral and focusing on getting to know each other, it allows for a more genuine connection to develop without any pressure or expectations.
Don’t give in too easily to a man's advances, as this can lead to him quickly losing interest. Men appreciate the chase and value what they have to work for. Also, men who are interested in a genuine and long-lasting connection will be willing to wait and put in the effort. On the other hand, men who prioritize sex over a meaningful connection are not worth pursuing.
That concludes part 1 of our summary on Brian Nox's F*CK Him!: Nice Girls Always Finish Single. If you want to dive deeper into the topics we covered here you can pick up a copy of Brian's book here. Brian also has many other books, audiobooks, a blog and online courses that can help you on your journey to find love. You can go to his website here to find out more. In part 2 of our summary, we will take a look how to get him to do what you want, honing your single most important quality, how to make a great first impression and what to do if he is losing interest.