Tired of attracting the wrong people while searching for love? Yearning for a relationship that truly deserves you? Fed up with men who waste your time, want casual flings, or struggle with commitment? Frustrated by unhelpful dating advice from friends and wondering why you can't find Mr. Right? Say goodbye to these frustrations and hello to a new dating game with Never Chase Men Again by relationship expert Bruce Bryans. This book offers 38 invaluable tips to help you effortlessly attract the man of your dreams and build a lasting connection, avoiding unfulfilling relationships.
Never Chase Men Again dives deep into the male mind when it comes to dating, relationships, and love. This book is packed with the know-how and skills you need to level up your dating game. By applying Bryans' insightful tips, you'll stop endlessly wondering and second-guessing what a man is thinking. You'll learn how to catch red flags early on in a new relationship, boost your self-confidence, and use that confidence in various dating scenarios. You'll discover how to stand firm in your beliefs and set personal boundaries effectively. And most importantly Bryans shows you how to embrace your authentic self and recognize the value you truly possess. By adopting this mindset, you will attract the right man who sees your worth and is willing to put in the effort for a meaningful relationship. Never Chase Men Again covers all this and more, and our 2-part summary aims to break down the key points for you in a nutshell.
Stop Chasing and Start Embracing the Journey Instead
Why do we put ourselves through the rollercoaster ride of dating, with all its emotional highs and lows, stress, and unpredictability? It's simple: we're constantly searching for that perfect love we've always imagined and longed for. Even if it means facing heartache and setbacks along the way, we keep going because the hope of finding that special connection drives us forward.
Bruce Bryans recognizes that nobody's perfect in the dating world, and we all slip up now and then. What's important is taking a step back to think about what went wrong so you don't end up making the same mistakes again. Maybe you dive into relationships too quickly, causing the new guy to feel smothered. Or perhaps you play it too cool, making him think you're not interested, so he looks elsewhere. By getting a handle on your usual relationship habits, you'll be able to spot any glaring mistakes you're making in your dating game.
Mistakes on first dates or in long-term relationships are inevitable; life isn't perfect. The key is to embrace the journey, by learning from our mistakes, growing as individuals, growing with your partner, living in the present, enjoying the process of building connections when you meet new people, savoring the experiences and being open to new ones.
Your Greatest Strengths Are the Confidence You Possess, the Boundaries You Set and the Acceptance of Who You Are
Confidence is not just about feeling good about yourself; it's about a unshakeable belief in your own worth that is communicated through your actions and the standards you set for yourself and others. A confident woman doesn't engage in mind games or tolerate disrespect. She walks away from situations that don't serve her growth or happiness.
Consistency in confidence is key. Tolerating disrespect and letting others take advantage of you while claiming confidence is contradictory and undermines your credibility. Your confidence should align with your identity, values, and boundaries. What does it say about your character if you keep returning to a manipulative guy who mistreats you?
Prioritize yourself. Set clear boundaries and adhere to them. Strong boundaries reflect that you value principles over fleeting romantic interests. Focus on personal growth before seeking a relationship. This approach not only enhances your self-worth but also attracts partners who value authenticity and self-respect.
Firm boundaries boost your self-respect and appeal to quality men who recognize your worth. Conversely, weak boundaries can project neediness or desperation, often relegating you to casual fling status regardless of your other attractive qualities. Remember, high-quality men are drawn to women who demonstrate self-respect through consistent actions and clear boundaries. By valuing yourself first, you naturally attract partners who will value you in return.
In a world of curated Instagram feeds and "perfect" online personas, being your authentic self can feel scary, but it's actually incredibly attractive. Bryan emphasizes that high-quality men aren't interested in women who play games or pretend to be something they're not. They're drawn to women who are confidently and unapologetically themselves, honest about who they are, what they want, and what they're willing to give in a relationship.
For instance, if you're a career-driven woman who loves her independence, don't pretend to be a damsel in distress just because you think that's what men want. The right guy will appreciate your ambition and self-sufficiency.
So, how do these elements work together in the real world of dating? Well, imagine you're on a first date with a guy you really like. Your confidence allows you to be yourself without trying to impress him. Your boundaries mean you're clear about what you're looking for in a relationship. And your authenticity means you're not afraid to share your genuine thoughts and feelings.
The result? You come across as a high-value woman who knows her worth. You're not chasing him or playing games. Instead, you're giving him the opportunity to step up and pursue you. Remember, the goal isn't to manipulate or trick someone into liking you. It's about becoming the best version of yourself and attracting someone who genuinely appreciates that person.
So what can you do specifically to attract that special someone? Bruce Bryans can answer that question for you with:
38 Dating Habits That Will Attract High-Quality Men:
Habits 1 to 10: How to Amp Up His Interest, Boost Attraction and Get Him Chasing After You
1. Never be too available
When we acquire something too easily, we tend to undervalue it. If you don't present a challenge, men will lose interest and move on to someone who does. However, refraining from being overly accessible does not imply playing hard-to-get; rather it means maintaining an intriguing and fulfilling life on your own terms. Ensure a level of unavailability by prioritizing time for your goals, interests, self-care, friends and family and refusing to compromise on it. By demonstrating that you can thrive without him, he will come to realize that he cannot thrive without you either.
By eagerly agreeing to every single thing he suggests and being at his beck and call, you're basically saying, “Hey, I have no life of my own!” Start indulging in some self-love, shift the spotlight onto yourself for once and actually enjoy doing things that don't involve pandering to a man’s every whim.
2. Don’t always be the one that initiates contact
Avoid initiating texts; if you are always the one texting or calling, you will never be certain if he truly has a genuine interest in you or if he is simply just answering you. Men only value the things that they’ve worked for. So if he wants to get with you, make him work for it. Also when you are the one consistently expressing interest in seeing him or staying connected with him, you are depriving him of the opportunity to feel the absence he needs to miss you and ultimately pursue you.
Allowing a man to take the lead in initiating contact is the best way to determine how interested he is in you. You can be certain of his level of interest based on how proactive he is in making plans to see you and staying in touch with you.
3. If a man wants to keep seeing you, he’s going to have to pick up the phone and call you
In the early stages of getting acquainted or starting a relationship with a guy, using text messages is perfectly acceptable. But as the relationship develops, if he can't muster up the effort to pick up the phone and chat with you on a regular basis, he's definitely not gonna commit to you in any meaningful way. You can still text but it shouldn’t be your primary means of communication.
It is essential to teach him how to communicate with you like an adult. Gently inform him of your preference for phone calls when making plans instead of text. Don't be pushy or aggressive while doing this. You can flirtatiously tease him through text, about wanting to hear his voice more often or playfully suggest that a gentleman always picks up the phone to call a lady.
4. Do what you say
Reliability is an attractive quality in women, as it shows character and trustworthiness. Men who respect themselves and others are not likely to pursue women who are flaky and unreliable. Trust is important in relationships, and high-quality men want women who follow through on their commitments. Lack of integrity, such as consistently breaking promises, is unattractive. While making honest mistakes is understandable, it's a problem if you frequently break promises such as calling them, meeting them, completing a task, that you will do something, that you won’t do something etc. Just as it is frustrating to be in a relationship with a man who doesn't follow through, it is equally frustrating to date a woman who is unreliable.
5. The past should stay in the past and so should your exes
Leave your dating history behind and avoid badmouthing your ex, or he might think you're still attached or carrying too much emotional baggage. Speaking negatively about past relationships won't cast you in a good light or earn sympathy. Imagine dating someone who constantly mentions and criticizes his exes. Would you feel sympathy, or see him as a victim avoiding responsibility? Sharing too much about failed dating experiences early on might also make him question why you attract problematic partners, potentially reflecting poorly on your character.
6. Never sacrifice your self-respect by trying to manipulate a man into being interested in you
If his interest is waning, don't compromise your dignity by chasing him. It will only hurt your self-esteem. If he's not interested, he's not the right man for you. Stop engaging with him and ignore his weak attempts to reconnect. Focus on those who value you, spend time with friends, and work on self-improvement. If he truly wants you, he'll make the effort to win you back. If not, you've lost someone wrong for you and made space for the right person to come along, all while preserving your dignity.
7. Don’t expose your infatuations to a man until he sees you as a pursuit that is “worthy” of his full focus
In the early stages of a romantic relationship, exercise restraint in revealing your infatuation. Only share your feelings if your love interest reciprocates. How can you tell? If he consistently and sincerely tries to win you over, puts effort into being desirable to you, shows excitement around you, spends time with you, and frequently reaches out, you likely hold an important place in his thoughts.
In the early stages of dating, a man with experience will gauge your interest while evaluating what potential value you add to his life. If you reveal your infatuation too soon, he might not have had the chance yet to understand your importance to him and not see you as a challenge worthy of his full focus. Remember, men love the thrill of the chase, so if you make him your world too soon, where's the challenge in that?
8. Flexibility should be embraced when it comes to dating
To have a successful dating life, it's important to be flexible and adaptable. While it is important to have high standards and not tolerate disrespectful behavior, be willing to compromise on minor details and don't sweat the small stuff. The kind of men you want to be with will find a lack of flexibility unattractive.
Learn to keep an open mind and be willing to compromise when a good guy shows serious interest in you. For instance, if he’s late to a date with you because his meetings went overtime or he forgot to call one night because he got home from work late, just roll with it and don’t make a big deal about it. If he has to cancel plans with you because his mother is in town, be accommodating and reschedule. Don’t become upset when things don't always go your way.
Remember there is a time to be flexible, so you will have to balance maintaining a challenging but also accommodating nature. The type of men who would put up with inflexibility in a woman are most likely those who are passive pushovers who can't stand up for themselves or even stand up for you.
9. Show him your vulnerable side
While your self-reliance and confidence may initially attract him, it is your honesty and vulnerability that will truly capture his heart. When a man shows genuine interest, reciprocate by sharing your insecurities and emotions. Men are drawn to women who reveal their true selves, as it engages their masculine instinct to protect and nurture. Remember, vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness. By courageously sharing your fears and innermost thoughts, you allow him to see the real you, making him feel trusted and valued, which deepens his affection.
However, it is important to choose the right time to be vulnerable. Rushing into opening up too soon can lead to misunderstandings or overwhelm the other person. It is important to let the relationship progress naturally and build a foundation of trust and mutual respect before revealing your vulnerable side.
10. Heighten his emotional bond with you
Most men, particularly those who are genuinely worth investing in, crave emotional intimacy. To escalate his emotional attachment, it is important to value and acknowledge when he demonstrates his love and desire to protect and provide for you. By appreciating these actions, you are affirming his inherent need as a man to safeguard and nurture the tender feminine qualities within you. Additionally, cherish the moments when he confides in you, revealing his vulnerabilities, aspirations, and flaws, honor him by appreciating his openness. Furthermore, if he goes above and beyond to fulfill your needs or shows exceptional thoughtfulness, express your gratitude through both words and actions.
Another way to escalate his emotional attachment is to love him proactively. A key aspect of proactive love lies in finding out and understanding how the man you desire prefers to both give and receive affection. Some men thrive on verbal affirmations while others appreciate acts of service or crave physical touch above all else.
Habits 11 to 21: Get Your Head in the Game - The Mindset You Need For the Results You Want
11. Just because someone is great, it doesn’t make him Mr. Right
Don't mistake a great guy for the right guy. Many women focus too much on finding Mr. Right and overlook the importance of a compatible relationship. It's possible to be with an amazing man who, unfortunately, is just not ready to be in a committed relationship. Look for someone who not only possesses desirable qualities but also wants the same level of commitment. Don't settle for a man who can't give you the love life you deserve. It's better to wait for the right person than force a relationship that isn't right.
12. Don't devalue the worth of your love by giving it away too easily to someone who doesn't deserve it
When a man hasn't proven himself, female devotion is not perceived as genuine loyalty but rather as a sign of desperation. Acting desperate and giving too much devotion can push a man away. He may see you as being “clingy” or “needy.” He has to go through the process of earning your devotion for him to realize the great value of it.
Remember, only give your heart to the right person and only when you have an emotional connection and both feel the same way.
13. Set high standards, protect your boundaries and be assertive
Relationship-minded men want a woman with high standards and boundaries, rather than a doormat. Women with weak boundaries are easy targets for manipulative or “waste your time” men, and tend to fall into the category of "Ms. Nice Girl." Be assertive rather than accommodating. High-quality men find assertive women attractive as they know what they want and deserve. Assertive women enforce boundaries and handle conflicts gracefully, maturely and without being confrontational or manipulative.
14. Never compromise or sacrifice your true passions in life solely to maintain a man's interest in you
Always stay true to yourself and never sacrifice your interests and passions just to stay in a relationship. Pretending to share a man's beliefs or changing your values to win his approval is not only unattractive, it is degrading. It shows that you don't respect your own principles and goals. In addition, making this mistake can cost you the things you love and prevent you from being your best self. Furthermore, men are not interested in women who value their relationship status more than their own dignity.
A quality man will never request you to sacrifice any aspect of yourself or your life; he will perceive your values and interests as an integral part of your identity and what sets you apart. If he truly wants you in his life, he will appreciate and support your passions as much as his own. Do not alter who you are or lower your expectations because you are afraid of losing him. If that is what it takes to hold onto the relationship, then it is not the right one for you.
15. Get rid of any man who feels compelled to hide you
You should never accept being kept a secret by a man. If he keeps you and your relationship hidden, it indicates that you hold absolutely no significance to him. He should be enthusiastic about introducing you to his friends and potentially his family, although the familial introduction might not occur right away.
Also, pay close attention to how excited he gets when you ask him to hang out, but without any chance for physical intimacy. This can provide valuable insight as to how important you are to him.
16. Don’t deny a man of the thrills and joys of conquest
Men thrive on the challenge of winning a desirable woman's affection. Their actions, not words, reveal their true feelings and investment. As a woman, your role is to create opportunities for him to demonstrate his interest through effort.
The key is to balance attraction with subtlety. Men prefer to feel they're choosing to pursue a relationship, rather than being pushed into one. Embrace your femininity, be playful and flirtatious, but maintain an air of mystery. This approach allows him to feel he's earning your attention, which is far more compelling than readily available affection.
Remember, the goal is to make him pursue you because he finds the chase irresistible, not because you demand it. This strategy keeps his interest high and lets you gauge his true commitment through his actions.
17. Never let a man’s emotions for you get dull and stagnate.
Ensure that a man's love for you never becomes stagnant. If you notice his interest dwindling, create a sense of unease by expressing your awareness of his fading interest and making yourself less accessible. By stepping back and creating distance, you are allowing him the chance to feel your absence and potentially develop a fear of losing you. If he truly cares about your relationship this will encourage him to pursue you anew.
18. Don't ever be exclusive with a guy who is still exploring his options
If your aim is to find long-term relationship bliss, getting involved with someone who openly admits they are not looking for anything serious will undoubtedly lead to heartbreak. Exit the situation before you become too attached and find it challenging to end things. Don’t fall into the delusion of thinking that you can change his mind about committing.
19. Don’t believe men when they say they have “commitment issues”
Do not trust men who claim to have "commitment issues." Those who use this as an excuse are typically just looking for an excuse to pursue multiple romantic partners. In reality, "commitment issues" often means "I am not interested in you enough." Don't waste your time hoping his problems will disappear - he won't change. A real man is not afraid to make a commitment.
Remember, just because a man seems amazing at first doesn't mean he's the right one for you. If he can't provide the level of commitment you desire, it's time to bid farewell and search for someone else who shares your dedication goals.
20. Make sure to acknowledge and accept the reality of how men behave when it comes to sex, rather than holding on to unrealistic expectations
Men are willing to do almost anything in order to have sex. So keep in mind that before engaging in sexual activities with a man, you hold a significant amount of power in the relationship. However, once you give him access to sex, your power diminishes greatly. If your ultimate goal is marriage, it is not an effective strategy to give away your power to casual and short-term partners.
Understand that most men are less likely to commit if they can have their sexual desires fulfilled without having to invest much in the relationship initially. Since you are the “gatekeeper” to sex, it is advisable to maintain this control for as long as you can, as it will help you filter out those who are not genuinely interested and make the truly deserving ones put in the utmost effort to win you over. The more he sacrifices in terms of time, meaningful gestures, and commitments, the harder it is for him to deny your significance in his life. The more he invests in you, the more he will perceive you as more valuable than other women.
21. Don’t fall prey to his aloofness or other player tactics
If a woman hasn't trained herself to detest emotional drama, her intense emotions for a man may simply be driven by her fear of losing him. Men often employ aloofness as a strategy. A man's conflicting signals, distant attitude, and unpredictable nature can stimulate your feminine desire to the extent that you may discover yourself pursuing him desperately in order to avoid losing his interest. If the fear of rejection or abandonment from him is so exhilarating for you that it compels your actions, then you may find yourself doing everything within your capabilities to please him - which is precisely what he desires.
This concludes part 1 of our 2-part summary of Bruce Bryan's Never Chase Men Again. In part 2 of our summary, we will examine Bryan's advice on how to best convey your high value and show off the qualities that men cherish in a woman. We will also look into Bryan's dating guidelines on how to steer clear of dead-end relationships, which you can read by clicking here. If you want to dive deeper into the topics discussed in this summary you can pick up a copy of Never Chase Men Again here. For more helpful information on how to successfully find love, you can check out Bruce Bryan's website here.