Welcome back to the second part of our summary of Bruce Bryans' Never Chase Men Again. In this summary article, we will finish examining Bryan's 38 dating habits that will help you get the guy of your dreams. We already covered dating habits 1 through 21 in part one of our summary. If you didn't read it you can do so by clicking here. So let's not waste any more time and get you on the right track to finding Mr. Right by learning about the rest of Bryans' secret dating habits.
Habits 22 to 31: Mastering the Art of High-Value Communication and Becoming Irresistible to Men
22. Keep a positive mindset as you look for your perfect match
Don't let the disappointment of failed relationships discourage you; think of them as merely stepping stones in the path towards finding love. Maintain an optimistic outlook while on your quest to find the ideal partner. Each individual is unique, and it would be unfair to judge future partners based on the actions of another person. Focus on yourself and don't let past encounters define your present or future dating life. By allowing past experiences to influence your thoughts and actions, you are giving others control over your current relationship dynamics.
23. Showcase your femininity and approach communication with men gracefully
Men are easily captivated by women who speak with tenderness and respect. Women with high emotional intelligence are attractive to men who want a serious relationship. These women have the ability to express themselves confidently but without diminishing their partner's masculinity in the process. The manner in which you handle disagreements and conflicts greatly influences a man's decision on whether the relationship is worthwhile. It is perfectly acceptable to be assertive, but it is important to distinguish between assertiveness and aggression when communicating with men.
Research, including Dr. John Gottman's studies, indicates that men are more affected by contemptuous, critical, or disrespectful communication than women. These behaviors can harm a man's emotional well-being and the relationship's health. Thus, it's essential to adopt a communication style that strikes a balance - expressing yourself clearly and firmly while maintaining respect and consideration for your partner's perspective.
24. Embrace your inner seductress
Discovering your "inner vixen" does not require becoming excessively sexual; it merely entails embracing a style and demeanor that make you feel like the sensual person you truly are. Being a high value woman involves developing self-love, appreciating your physical appearance, and feeling self-assured in your identity, both internally and externally. This means honestly examining your perceived flaws in the mirror and learning to appreciate and accept them without feeling ashamed. Embrace your sensuality and let go of inhibitions. Discover the power of confidence in your own body. Choose a wardrobe, hair and makeup that make you look hot instead of cute. Utilize your natural allure to captivate men's attention and revel in the way they revolve around you.
25. Don’t get lazy with your appearance once you are exclusive with a guy
Once in a committed relationship, it's crucial to maintain your appearance to keep a man's attention. Some women slack off after gaining his interest, but it's essential to stay attractive to maintain that spark. This doesn't mean always dressing up, but don't let yourself become a lazy slob. So take pride in grooming and self-care, wear confidence-boosting clothes, and exercise regularly for health and mood. Invest in yourself, let your inner beauty shine, and you'll keep him captivated while boosting your self-esteem.
26. Refrain from expressing your insecurities in a manner that diminishes a man's perception of you
When dating men, it's important to avoid self-sabotage and not communicate insecurities that make you believe you're not worthy. Constantly comparing yourself to other women suggesting that they are prettier than you or expecting a man to cheat because of your own insecurities will only drive him away. Instead, believe in your worth and act as if you deserve the best. While it's okay to show vulnerability in a serious relationship, constantly broadcasting low self-esteem will create contempt. Therefore, when getting to know someone, it's best not to plant any negative ideas in their mind.
27. Resist the temptation to constantly ask for reassurance and validation
It is important to avoid constantly seeking and demanding approval from a man for his love and loyalty, especially after he has already committed to being exclusive with you. By continuously seeking excessive demonstrations and confirmations of his devotion you will appear overly anxious, and turn your relationship into a laborious chore for him. Anxiety and fear can be harmful to any relationship, triggering undesirable actions in both genders. If you let your insecurities prompt you to incessantly seek reassurance about a man's feelings for you, brace yourself for potential responses that might not be what you hope for. This is because your actions could plant seeds of uncertainty in his mind. It is crucial to avoid these negative patterns in order to maintain a healthy and fulfilling relationship.
28. If you have “Princess Syndrome”, get rid of it!
It's important to communicate your expectations to a man, but there's a fine line between expressing what you want and sounding entitled. If you start demanding that a man should do certain things to woo you, it won't make you sound like a prize-worth-pursuing; instead, it will make you sound spoiled. For high quality men, nothing resonates more than humility. Picture being in a relationship with a man who, only two weeks in, begins to dictate your shared future. Or imagine going on a few dates with someone and they start talking about how you should change certain aspects of your life. What would you think of a guy like that? You'd probably consider him self-delusional and in need of a reality check. Well, great guys feel the same way when a woman starts making premature demands or suggestions about her expectations. Even if these expectations are subtle, it can be a major turn-off. While there's nothing wrong with wanting a man to treat you exceptionally well, it's important to approach it gracefully. Intelligent men with even a little bit of discernment will arrive at their own conclusions about how to treat you without you having to spell it out for them.
29. Embody the same great qualities that you are seeking in a partner
It's important to realize that in order to attract the type of person you desire, you need to possess those qualities yourself. It's a critical flaw to expect something from someone that you are not willing to give in return. Let's say you want a man that is athletic, plays a lot of sports and makes health his top priority but you are a couch potato that hates physical activity and smokes a lot. This mismatch between what you want and what you are can lead to disappointment and frustration in relationships. So, before you set your sights on a certain type of person, take a good look in the mirror and evaluate your own character and behavior. Are you the kind of woman that would bring value into a relationship? Are you truly deserving of the qualities you seek in another person? If not, it's time to work on yourself and refine your own character. Only then will you be able to attract and maintain a relationship with someone who possesses the qualities you desire.
30. This might seem like no brainer but Do Not Date Low-Quality Men with questionable morals
Your reputation is crucial. When men are serious about finding the right woman, they avoid those known for dating promiscuous men. Social media now allows men to learn a lot about you before even asking you out. While we can't change our past, continuing to date men with low standards and questionable morals can hinder your chances of meeting a high-quality man. Breaking these habits sooner rather than later is advisable.
31. An “I don’t need you to want me” attitude will make you irresistible to men
When a man tells you that he’s not ready for a relationship and just wants to casually date, respond with lightheartedness and humor, conveying that you are not desperate or needy. For example you can say something like, “Aww, how adorable. Just take it easy, will you? You're overthinking this way more than I am.” Most women won't react like this, so this interaction will keep him thinking about you for days, making it hard for him to deny being interested in you.
Also, make yourself less available to him, it will make him realize that he needs to commit if he really wants to be with you. As long as you're not giving him all the benefits of a relationship (like spending a lot of time together, being too physically affectionate, giving romantic gifts, doing favors for him, providing emotional support like a girlfriend would), it's okay to keep seeing him. Just know your limit, especially if you start to have feelings for him and it doesn't seem like he feels the same way. So remember, it's okay to take risks in love, but be ready to end things if he's just wasting your time.
Habits 32 to 38: Empowering Guidelines to Avoid Unfulfilling Relationships
32. Do not live with a man until he has proposed
Moving in with a man is not advisable as it tends to amplify relationship difficulties. Unlike marriage, this arrangement lacks the external pressures that often serve as catalysts for resolving such problems. It may sound conservative, but it's better to wait until he has proposed before considering moving in together.
33. Married men are off limits
Avoid dating married men. It's morally wrong and fraught with complications that often lead to heartbreak. He might claim to love you more but will always have excuses for staying with his family—legal issues, children, and shared responsibilities. He'll keep you on the side until you realize that you have been taken advantage of. It's a dead-end situation to be in love with a man who already has built a life with another woman.
34. Be a man’s ‘mountain’ not his ‘steppingstone’
If you have been in a relationship for a long time and it seems like it's going nowhere, you might be what is known as a "stepping stone" woman. This is a woman that many men use to help them progress in life and achieve their goals. She blindly supports her partner until he reaches a certain level of success, at which point he will leave her for his "mountain" woman - the woman he believes he truly deserves. The "mountain" woman represents the ideal woman that a man wants to be with once he has achieved success.
The best way to avoid being a man's stepping stone is to steer clear of "fixer uppers". These are men who don't have jobs, have poor grooming habits, or have addictions. They may also be overly reliant on their mothers or just generally lazy.
35. Approach dating with a clear vision of what you want
When going on a date, have a clear purpose in mind. It's important to know what you want and not settle for less. Make a list of qualities you're looking for in a partner and refer to it often. By staying focused on what you want, you can avoid getting distracted by attractive or charming people who might not be right for you. Love and hormones can be powerful, but it's important to have substance in a relationship. If marriage is your goal, dating with that intention will help you set boundaries and find a partner with long-term potential. Instead of just wanting a boyfriend for companionship, focus on personal growth and self-love first. When you're ready to share your love with someone special, prioritize men who have marriage potential. It's easier to say no to someone who isn't right for you when you have a clear purpose in mind.
36. Men who break up with you should cease to exist
If a guy breaks up with you, act like he no longer exists. Regardless of the reasons, respect his decision and move on. Don't contact him. Reaching out to him won't change his mind; it will only confirm that breaking up was the right choice. Holding onto someone who doesn't want to stay only prolongs your pain and blocks new happiness. Accept the breakup, heal, and move on. Keep your dignity, focus on yourself, and embrace new possibilities.
37. Don’t try to be “one of the guys” and give off an asexual vibe
The idea that men want a woman who's "one of the guys" is not true. Being one of the guys means adopting masculine attitudes and behaviors, which might not work in building romantic chemistry. The attention and interest a woman gets from a man depends on how attracted he is to her and the emotional connection he feels. Women who are seen as one of the guys often find themselves in the friend zone. Being a bro may cause guys to treat you only as a friend, and it may limit their attraction towards you. Identifying with men can also give off a platonic vibe, leading to short-lived relationships or being seen as just a friend. If you want a deep romantic connection with a man, focus on being a feminine woman he feels attracted to.
38. Date with confidence and believe that you deserve unconditional love from a man
When it comes to dating, how you see yourself is everything. Truly believing that you deserve love impacts how you act and draws in the right kind of people. This isn't just about being confident; it's a core truth that shapes your interactions. Guys will always test boundaries, whether they realize it or not. How you react to these tests shows your self-worth and sets the stage for how you'll be treated. High standards aren't just about what you prefer; they reflect your self-respect and help filter out incompatible partners.
It's easy to get swept up in the excitement of a new romance, but try to focus on actions over words and spot red flags without making excuses. This skill is key to avoiding emotional investment in the wrong people. Being genuine about what you need and want isn't just good communication; it's about staying true to yourself. This authenticity attracts partners who appreciate the real you, not some version they want you to be.
Remember, your value doesn't come from whether you're in a relationship or not. By truly believing that you're worthy of unconditional love, you'll naturally attract it into your life. It's not about being perfect; it's about valuing yourself enough to only accept mutual respect and genuine affection from others.
Conclusion
Self-love and self-respect are the foundations for attracting high-quality partners. Without these, you risk drawing in men who either can't treat you well or don't deserve your company, perpetuating a cycle of unfulfilling relationships.
High-quality men don't make excuses about readiness or past baggage. It's crucial to recognize when someone isn't prepared for commitment and have the strength to walk away. While you can't control how a man treats you, you can focus on becoming an irresistible catch yourself.
The key is striking a balance between nurturing and boundary-setting. Men are drawn to confident women who assert themselves but also know when to be accommodating. By skillfully rejecting unacceptable behaviors, you establish boundaries that ensure your needs are met.
Bryans' core message is about authenticity and maintaining high standards. By embracing your true self and refusing to compromise your worth, you naturally attract men who recognize and value you. This approach not only improves your dating life but also reinforces your self-esteem, creating a positive cycle of personal growth and healthier relationships.
We hoped you enjoyed our summary of Bruce Bryans' Never Chase Men Again, If you want to dive deeper into the topics discussed in this summary you can pick up a copy of the book by clicking here. Bruce Bryans offers more helpful information on how to successfully find love at his website here. Bryans has also written other books on dating and love that you might be interested in, here are a few links to some of them: