Welcome back to the second part of our summary of Brian Nox's F*CK Him!: Nice Girls Always Finish Single. If you haven't read part one of our summary you can do so by clicking here. In this article, we will take a look at Nox's relationship advice on how to get him to do what you want, honing your single most important quality, how to make a great first impression and what to do if he is losing interest. So let's dive in.
The Sneaky Secret to Getting Him to Do Your Bidding: Make Him Believe It Was His Idea!
Typically, men are driven by their egos. While not all men are the same, most want to be in control. This trait can be used to your advantage. How often have you asked your partner to do something, only for them to procrastinate or ignore it? Many women nag and complain when a man doesn't fulfill their requests, but this only discourages him further. Forcing a man to change breeds resentment and reduces his happiness, which he blames on you. A confident woman avoids constant complaints, knowing it's a waste of time.
To motivate a man to take action, make him think it was his own idea. Men's behavior can seem illogical, but instead of analyzing it, use reverse psychology to your advantage. For example, if you want your partner to stay home more, suggest he goes out more. This approach can make him appreciate the comfort of home and choose to stay in more often.
To get your boyfriend to text you more, text him less. By reducing your communication, he'll feel your absence and reach out more. Similarly, if you want him to appreciate your cooking, cook less or prepare simpler meals. This will make him value the effort and skill in your cooking.
When you're dating someone and want to take the relationship to the next level, express uncertainty about whether they are the right person for you to date. This contradictory statement will make him desire your approval and commitment, leading him to pursue a more serious relationship with you.
The key to influencing men's behavior is to do the exact opposite of what one would expect. It may sound childish, terrible, and completely absurd, but that's how men function, and it works in your favor as a woman. Once you grasp this concept, it becomes easy to guide men in any direction you desire.
While it is crucial to not tolerate any negative behavior, constantly nagging, criticizing and pointing out his shortcomings will only make him feel like a loser, and damage his self-esteem and the long-term health of the relationship. It’s important to make your partner feel important, valued and respected. At the same time it's also important to avoid making him feel inadequate or like a failure. Humans respond better to positive reinforcement. To motivate him, offer compliments and acknowledge his positive actions to boost his ego and encourage him to continue behaving in a way that makes you happy.
When your partner does something that you appreciate, praise his efforts. For example, if he takes out the trash, express your gratitude by saying, "I love it when you take out the trash." Similarly, when he cooks a meal, even if it may not be perfect, show appreciation by saying, "It was a delicious meal. I love it when a man knows how to cook." By using this strategy, he will be more eager to satisfy your desires. However, be cautious not to excessively shower him with compliments as it may devalue their significance.
Train him to be a good partner immediately
It’s important to train a man to be a good partner from the very beginning of a relationship. Triggering his instinct to care for you, by allowing him to demonstrate acts of love, is essential for a successful and harmonious relationship. Like potty training a child, it requires consistency and repetition. If he learns to put in effort early, he'll maintain it throughout the relationship.
This training can include, for example, allowing him to open doors, pull out chairs, and lift heavy things for you. Of course, women are capable of doing all these things, but it’s important to let a man showcase his love and care through these actions. This will create a loving and supportive dynamic.
Boundaries: Your Most Important Quality
A high-value woman’s most important quality is her strong sense of boundaries and self-worth. This quality sets the foundation for a healthy and fulfilling relationship. A high-value woman does not tolerate bad behavior from her partner. If he does something that crosses the line, she doesn't hesitate to speak up and let him know. She doesn't allow men to have their way with her or take advantage of her kindness.
Her strong boundaries protect her from being manipulated by bad men and at the same time attract good men. Players, narcissists and bad men look for vulnerable women they can prey upon. They won't stay with a high-value woman because they can’t control or take advantage of her. This is beneficial because they are eliminating themselves.
High-quality men value hard work and invest time in what matters to them. They didn't achieve greatness by taking shortcuts. When they meet women with high standards, they find them more appealing, especially if these women have strong boundaries and confidence. Such men respect women who refuse to play manipulative games and have firm standards. Of course, these standards should be reasonable, as some women have unrealistic expectations.
High-value women can also be blinded by love, but they enforce their boundaries and adhere to their principles, even when it's tough. They know that compromising their values or tolerating disrespect leads to a diminished self-worth and unhealthy relationships.
If the man she's with starts to lose interest, the high-value woman doesn't rush to invest more of herself to try to win him back. She sticks to her rules and doesn't let her emotions cloud her judgment. She knows that investing in someone who doesn't appreciate her worth is a waste of her time and energy.
Ultimately, the high-value woman understands that her happiness and fulfillment should not be dependent on anyone else. She knows that if she allows others to dictate her life or control her decisions, she will be living a severely limited life.
Mastering the Art of First Impressions
How the High-Value Woman Makes an Impression
It is widely recognized that first impressions are crucial. Our brains have a cognitive filter that tends to cling to the initial image we receive of someone. Therefore, it is important to make a strong and positive first impression as it can greatly influence how others perceive and remember us.
Your first impression on men is built up in two stages. The first stage involves your physical appearance, so it is natural to spend some time ensuring that you make the right impression in terms of looks. However, it is important to note that relying solely on your looks to attract men can make it difficult to differentiate yourself from other women.
In the second stage, a man's true impression of you is formed, and this is where a high-value woman stands out. While most women focus on appearance, a high-value woman showcases her personality and qualities, capturing attention beyond looks. This is why you will see average-looking women with exceptionally desirable partners—they have mastered the art of mentally challenging their partners, cultivating attraction even if it wasn't initially present.
A high-value woman responds sassily to a man's teasing, expressing herself boldly with playful banter and cheeky flirting if interested. She uses humor and sarcasm, subtly challenging him in fun conversation. However, she confidently enforces strict boundaries if he steps out of line and will withdraw her attention or walk away if he continues to misbehave.
Tips on How to Make a Great First Impression
Before meeting someone, prepare mentally by gathering your thoughts and setting your intentions for the interaction. Consider your goals and how you want to come across. Your style and how you dress should reflect your personality and make you feel confident. Be punctual as it shows respect for others' time and sets a positive tone for interactions.
When meeting someone, use positive body language: smile genuinely, make eye contact, and offer a firm handshake if appropriate. Stand tall and avoid crossing your arms to appear open and approachable, making others feel comfortable around you.
During the interaction, actively listen and engage by open-ended asking questions, nodding, and responding thoughtfully. This shows that you value their opinions and helps build rapport and a positive connection. When speaking, articulate your thoughts clearly and confidently. Avoid speaking too quickly or softly to ensure the other person understands you. Clear and confident speech demonstrates self-assurance and aids effective communication.
Good manners never go out of style and significantly impact how others perceive you. Say please and thank you, be polite, and be genuine, as people appreciate authenticity and can sense insincerity.
When flirting, hold your gaze slightly longer before looking away, and add a quick glance back to show interest. Give sincere compliments. It could be about something they are wearing or a trait you admire. Light teasing can be an effective way to flirt if done humorously and respectfully. It shows comfort and can create a fun dynamic. Use open body language, lean in slightly, and subtly mirror their actions to build rapport. If appropriate and welcomed, a light touch on the arm or shoulder can enhance the flirtation.
Remember, flirting should be fun! Keep it light, laugh, and joke. Confidence is key, so be bold and sassy. Show comfort in your own skin and don't be afraid to take the lead in the conversation.
First Impression Pitfalls to Avoid
To make a good first impression, avoid actions that show low self-esteem. Don't overly dote on him and shower him unearned attention, as most men see this as desperate. Your time is valuable, so your attention should be too. Self-respect is key to a great initial encounter.
You don’t need rescuing – men tend to shy away from women who require saving, be it due to being stuck in an unhealthy relationship or being unhappily single. A woman of high value never lingers in an unhappy partnership; she has more productive ways to spend her time than waiting for a man to get his act together. Men are afraid of women who view them as their primary source of genuine joy. Unhappily single women often give off this impression. A high-value woman is happy on her own, lives a full life and doesn’t need a man to complete her.
When meeting a man for the first time, leave emotional baggage at home and avoid negative subjects. Don't discuss personal problems or past relationships; instead, highlight the positive aspects of your life. While he may support you later, it's important not to reveal past scars too soon.
How to Keep a Great Guy: Pay Attention to What Matters to Him Most
Do you ever wonder what men truly want from their girlfriend or wife? The answer is simple: men want to feel like men. They don't want to appear weak or powerless; they desire to matter and make a difference in the world. For most, this means building a life with a great woman.
So, what does this entail? Men want a partner who is willing to build a life and family with them. To create a home, have children and nurture them together. Some men may not want kids, but all good men share a desire to care for their partner. They aim to support, provide for, and protect their loved one, driven by an instinct to be their best selves. Even though society has evolved and women no longer need men for protection, don't deny him the chance to offer it.
Sometimes, women may feel uneasy when their partner tries to help or show off his achievements. However, it's important to understand that these moments are significant to him. He wants to make you proud and demonstrate his ability to care for you, much like a cat bringing home a mouse to impress.
Now, if you come across a guy who doesn't seem interested in caring for you, it's important to question whether he is truly a great guy or if he is simply not that into you. It's essential to make it clear that you should never support a guy who consistently fails to show up for you or doesn't treat you with respect. That goes against the idea of a great guy.
But if you find a man who genuinely cares and wants to protect and provide for you, don't shy away from allowing him to embrace his masculinity. Embrace it together, and you'll create a strong and fulfilling relationship built on mutual respect and support.
Losing His Attention? Here's How to Get it Back!
When a man's attention decreases in a relationship, it doesn't always mean he's losing interest. As the initial excitement fades, men can become too comfortable in their routines and often start to take their partners for granted over time.
We all have a pyramid-like hierarchy of needs. First, we focus on securing the basic necessities like oxygen, water, and food. Once these needs are met, we start to worry about finding a roof over our heads. And once we have a home, we think about making it comfortable with furniture. When all the basic needs are fulfilled, we move on to higher-level needs to satisfy.
Men have this hierarchy of needs as well. For example, a man might have the need to find a good woman who adores him. Once he finds that special someone he doesn’t think about that need as much and he moves on to more specialized needs, like figuring out how to get a promotion at work or what seats to get for the Sunday football game.
Some women nag to regain their partners' attention, saying things like, "Why don't you treat me like you used to?" or "We used to go on romantic dates. What happened?" While this might temporarily get a man's attention, it's not healthy or sustainable. Instead, a woman should withdraw her attention to regain his. Men know how to treat women well but often forget once they feel secure.
If your man’s attention is waning because he feels safe and is certain you won't leave, remove this sense of security. Spend less time on him and focus that time on yourself. By withdrawing, you create uncertainty, prompting him to improve the relationship and seek reassurance. It's a natural human instinct to want what we can't have, and this applies to relationships too. When we fear losing something, we value it more and give it the attention it deserves.
Emotional Intelligence: Your Compass to Finding Mr. Right
Emotional intelligence and self-control play a key role in managing our emotions and making rational decisions. This is particularly important in going out on a date with someone new. Oxytocin, also known as the "love hormone," can cloud our judgment and make us feel overly attached to someone we've just met. It's common to feel a rush of warm and fuzzy emotions. This can lead to thoughts like "he's the one" or "he's different from anyone else I've met." It's crucial to step back and objectively evaluate the situation, distinguishing between genuine feelings and oxytocin's effects.
Even if someone appears very charming on a first date, it's essential to keep emotions in check. You can do so by gradually building up your emotional intelligence "muscle" through practice and self-awareness. The first step in developing emotional intelligence is recognizing and understanding your emotions. Observe your feelings and their causes, reflecting on them without judgment. Understand that emotions are just energy passing through your body and do not always reflect reality. Practice staying calm and composed instead of reacting impulsively. Develop coping strategies for managing negative emotions, such as deep breathing, meditation, or talking to a friend.
When You Recognize Your Worth Everyone Else Will Too
Transforming into a high-value woman who recognizes her own worth is a journey of personal growth and self-discovery. It is not something that happens instantly but rather a process that requires consistent effort, practice, and perseverance over time. The more you actively embrace self-respect and cultivate a strong sense of self-worth, the more ingrained and second nature these qualities become. They shift from being mere concepts to lived realities that guide your thoughts, actions, and how you carry yourself. Self-respect and self-worth are not superficial veneers but profound inner states that radiate outwards.
Each person, including you, possesses a unique combination of positive qualities, strengths, talents, and experiences that make them truly wonderful in their own way. Recognizing and appreciating these distinctive traits is key to fostering authentic self-worth. It’s about seeing yourself through a compassionate, non-judgmental lens and feeling deserving of respect, love, and healthy relationships.
The journey involves unlearning any limiting beliefs or self-doubts that may have been internalized over the years. It requires conscious effort to retrain your mind, challenge negative self-talk, and replace it with more empowering perspectives. With time and consistency, respecting and valuing yourself becomes the default setting rather than something you have to consciously remind yourself of.
As self-respect and self-worth take deeper root, you start carrying yourself differently. Your boundaries become stronger, your confidence more grounded, and you develop a heightened sense of what you will and won’t accept in your relationships and life. This inner transformation has a profound effect on how others perceive and treat you as well.
The process is rarely linear, and there may be setbacks or moments of self-doubt along the way. It’s about making choices that align with your principles, even when it's tough. This may involve walking away from toxic situations or standing up for yourself when necessary. But by consistently nurturing self-respect and reinforcing a positive self-worth, these qualities solidify into an unshakable part of your identity, making you a high-value woman recognized for your unique worth.
Conclusion
Nox urges women to stop settling for less and recognize their power in shaping better relationships. He emphasizes the importance of self-respect, emotional intelligence, and maintaining personal interests to attract and keep a great partner. His advice is grounded in years of research and coaching. Nox's goal is for women to understand their worth and seek respectful, loving, committed relationships. The key message? Empower yourself, as every woman deserves to be truly valued and cherished.
This concludes part 2 of our summary on Brian Nox's F*CK Him!: Nice Girls Always Finish Single. Thank you for reading our summary and we hope that you found it helpful. If you want to dive deeper into the topics we covered here you can pick up a copy of Brian's book here. Brian also has many other books, audiobooks, a blog and online courses that can help you on your journey to find love. You can go to his website here to find out more.